Aurora Lights
by CorvusNox
Summary: Bella has just come back from Italy and now she has to choose between Jacob, who saved her life, and Edward, who let her crash and burn. I feel a more realistic Eclipse.
1. Chapter 1

Jacob's words echoed in my mind over and over again; "he left you Bella, he didn't want you". He was referring to _him_, Edward. I couldn't help but feel the sting that came with the truth that was carried in those words… he didn't want me. But I had saved him anyway, I had left Forks and I had gone to rescue the man who refused to rescue me from the personal prison he condemned me to when he left. Now I had to choose between Jacob and Edward. Could I put the pain behind me and return to the vampire? Or should I be with Jacob? Who saved my life more than once and in more than one way.

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Bella POV

It started raining the minute I collapsed into my bed. I was exhausted, having gone to Italy and back with hardly any rest, but I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to see them again, they had left so suddenly and now they were back. The thought of being able to see them again, everyday, filled the hole that had tortured me for nearly a year. I didn't hear the window open over the sound of the rain, and my exhausted body didn't register the voice in my ear calling my name.

"Bella? Bella are you awake?" I assumed the voice was a dream, produced by my over tired mind, but warm hand covered my shoulder and gently shook me, as if trying not to wake me if I was asleep.

"Bells?" The voice called in a gentle whisper.

I rolled over and saw Jacob standing over my bed, his frame dripping wet from the heavy rain. I tried to say hello, but it came out as a soft moan, which made Jake smile his crooked smile the one I love. I returned the expression and closed my eyes, comforted by his company. I fell asleep soon after that, but vaguely remember feeling his frame slip onto the small bed next to me.

Jacob POV

I woke the next morning with Bella wrapped securely in my arms, the sound of her slow breathing filling the room. The rain had stopped and the sun peeked through the clouds at random intervals. I sighed lightly, knowing that the bloodsuckers were back and that Bella was likely to return to her precious Edward. I felt my heart sink to my stomach and I knew that I couldn't be around Bella now that he was back.

I removed my arms from her small frame and brushed my hand over her forehead, pushing the a few loose strands of hair off her face and started to get up to leave. I heard Bella stir halfway to the window and I paused for a second trying not to wake her. When I thought she had settled again I continued moving towards the window to sneak out.

"Jake?…" Bella said in a sleepy fashion, freezing me to the spot. I felt ashamed to be caught trying to sneak out her bedroom. I turned to face her, my head lowered, eyes on the ground. "Where are you Jacob? It's dark, I can't see." Her words confused me and I looked up to find Bella talking in her sleep. I moved back to her and took her hand "I'm right here Bells." I whispered in her ear and brushed her knuckles over my lips. I stayed kneeling beside her bed until she woke and felt her hand curl around mine. Glancing upwards to see her eyes opening slowly I leaned forward and whispered greetings into her ear. I felt her smile and squeeze my hand.

"Morning Jake." She replied, shifting in the bed, inviting me to sit on the edge.

I stood, but didn't take up the offer, remembering that she had Edward back now and she would prefer him in her bed to me. "I just wanted to see that you were okay." I said and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "I have to go now," I lied, "but I'll be back later." I lied again and letting go of her hand I slipped out the window, closing it behind me.

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This is my first Fan Fiction thing and I haven't written anything creative for a while, so sorry if it's a little bit dodgy.


	2. Chapter 2

Bella POV

It was early afternoon and I was falling asleep in my chair. My calculus teacher was going on about something or another but I simply couldn't keep my eyes open. My dreams last night prevented me getting any solid rest. I had dreamt about the choice that I had to make. Edward, or Jake. I knew I couldn't have both, they're blood enemies for God's sake. I didn't want to make that decision, how could I? I had already tried living without Edward. But I had never tried to live without Jake…

Jacob POV

I ran. I ran as far from her as possible. I couldn't do it. I couldn't watch her with that bloodsucker. I didn't want to lose her, I don't think she was ever mine to lose in the first place, but I still didn't want to see her with _him_. I could hear the rest of the pack inside my head, telling me that I was being a selfish dumb-ass and to come back before they made me come back. I ignored them, I knew I was being a selfish dumb-ass but I couldn't watch him swallow her into their world, and ruin her, turn my soft warm Bella into a reeking, icy bloodsucker, something that I was born to kill.

My large paws fell onto the ground in steady rhythm as I ran though the hidden trails of the forest. The wind pushing through my thick fur was somehow relaxing my tired body. Suddenly a foul smell reached my keen nose and an involuntary growl erupted from my chest. Vampires…

I crouched down to my shackles, and waited. The smell was overwhelming and I pushed my muzzle into the moist dirt just to mute the stench. I herd a soft thud behind me, spinning quickly I came face to face with the pale faced, red headed bloodsucker, Victoria. Another growl erupted from my chest as I swiped out my paw in attempt to knock her away from me to make more room for my attack. Victoria was quick and took hold of it before it could find the ground, this caught me off balance and I slid to the ground. The red head shouted something in a different tongue and several more vampires slipped into my sights, I tried to regain my footing even though I knew there was no way I could take down this number of vampires by myself, I needed the rest of the pack, but they were too far away to get here on time. I wouldn't go down without a fight either.

Bella POV

I had the dream again that night. In the dream I am with Edward at first, and we're walking, then suddenly he's not there anymore and it's dark, but instead of calling out for Edward all I can think about it Jake. This was the first night that he didn't find me in my dream.

I woke up with my face and pillow wet. I don't remember crying in my dream but I must have. I wanted, no I needed to go and see Jacob, I didn't care if I was grounded or not. I needed to see him. I glanced at the door, wondering if I could sneak out the front door without Charlie noticing. I decided against it, knowing my current luck I would fall down the stairs and wake up the whole street. I moved over to the window and pushed it open. I'd seen Jake do this a hundred times, how hard could it be? I swung my legs out over the sill and sat like that for a moment or two while I plucked up the courage to jump onto the tree and slide down to the ground. After several splinters and the style and grace of a broken deck chair I found myself safely on the ground and moving towards my truck.

I started the engine, and started towards La Push. The trip seemed longer than it normally would take, but I eventually arrived at Jake's around two in the morning. Despite the time all the lights were on and I could hear shouting from inside the house. Jake never fought with his dad so I knew something was wrong. I know it's rude to eavesdrop but I couldn't walk in a risk Billy telling Charlie that I had snuck out, it would be bad enough normally, but I would be grounded for the rest of my natural life considering that I was already grounded.

As I crept toward the house I tried to make out what the voices in the house were yelling about.

"What do you mean you can't find him? You're supposed to know where…"

"We looked all around the area where we lost track of him and his trail just vanished. I just don't think he want's to be found..." I recognised the voice as Sam's

"Are you kidding there was so much blood and it stank of the cold ones, how are you supposed to fake that stench?" asked another voice that I guessed was Paul, but I wasn't too sure.

"We'll put another search out for him then, but until then we'll continue as normal." Sam said again, but by the tone of his voice I could tell that he was just as worried about who ever they were talking about.

"And what about my son?" I recognised Billy's voice immediately, and the realization that it was my Jacob that had gone missing cut through me like a knife.

"We'll find him and we'll deal with the cold ones that took him and take appropriate action if they've killed him." Sam said and the rest of the pack agreed, Billy was slightly less enthusiastic about it but reluctantly agreed none-the-less.

They had my Jake… Vampire's had my Jake, I could only assume that it was Victoria that was responsible for this. A cold shiver ran down my spine as I thought of the consequences if I was right about that. I needed to get him back, and I needed to act now.

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I was really overwhelmed by all the comments, and people seemed keen to get the next chapter. So it's not edited very well and I think there are a few errors in tense and grammar.

It's a little short sorry, been having issues with ideas and this is the best one I came up with.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry about taking so long to update, I went away for a week and couldn't update.

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Bella POV

Despite the urging need for me to do something to help Jacob I couldn't move. I was rooted to the ground, my mind running a complete blank as to what I could do to help get my Jacob back.

I wasn't sure how long I was standing there, unable to move, think and barely able to breathe. Obviously long enough for someone to notice my truck. Billy came out the front to investigate the presence of the run down vehicle and found me standing there, eyes unfocused and breathing shallow. I didn't notice him until he put a hand on my arm questioning the reason for my being there, then reminding me that I was grounded. I felt like I was in a dream as I looked down at Billy. When I finally managed to actually take in the man's features all I could see was Jacob. I had never really noticed the resemblance between father and son, maybe it was just my imagining it, whatever it was the reflection of Jacob in his father triggered something in me. I felt a familiar pang in my chest and I automatically put my arm over my chest and hot salt tears spilled over my cheeks. This was my fault entirely…if I had begged him to stay the other morning like I wanted him to, or gone to him instead of letting Edward control my actions the night I got back from Italy, then none of this would ever have happened, maybe I would still have my Jake with me.

"Bella?" Billy said, lightly pulling on my arm? "Bella what's wrong? Did the Cullen's hurt you?"

I shook my head at his question even though that deep down I knew that this was partly Edwards fault, if he hadn't been such a control freak then I would have been able to see Jake, I wouldn't have hurt him… I sighed through sobs "Jake. My Jacob…"

Billy frowned "Bella? How long have you been standing here? What did you hear?"

I looked at him and had to look away immediately, the image of Jacob still vividly printed over his features.

"Everything…My…Jacob…Missing" I managed out in between sobs.

Billy pulled me inside and I could here him talking on the phone to Charlie. After I heard the familiar click of the receiver in the cradle Billy came over to me and promised that he'd ring as soon as any word on Jacob came through. I wanted to stay and wait for Jacob's return, but I was too drained to protest when Charlie came to get me. I started to feel ill, my Jacob…Somewhere out there, alone, possibly dead, and it was all my fault.

Charlie was really seriously pissed at me for sneaking out and he tried to give me a lecture about it in the car on the way home but I wasn't listening and he eventually gave up. I had calmed down enough to think straight by the time I got home, I was still crying silently and the familiar feeling of the hole in my chest was back again, worse than ever. I tried to ignore it; self-pity wasn't going to help get Jake back. I had come up with an idea to get my Jake back that I thought had a reasonable chance of working and I intended to call Sam and tell him about it when I got inside.

Charlie paused at the front door and got my attention.

"Bells…" he sighed "I'm going to unground you until they find out about Jacob, but as soon as they find him…" He paused and I knew he was hoping that there was enough Jacob to find. "You're re-grounded for another week for sneaking out."

I nodded gratefully, I hadn't expected that but that would help with my plan. I went to my room and waited for Charlie to fall asleep before I called Sam to tell him about my idea that Edward would surely not be happy about, but Edward would just have to suck it up. It was partly his fault that this happened anyway and there would be nothing that would stop me from doing this.

Jacob POV

I woke up to darkness and pain. I was cramped into some sort of confinement and I couldn't see anything, even with my keen vision. My muscles were cramping from being in the same position for a while. I attempted to move around in my bonds to release some of the pressure on my limbs. I failed miserably, my movement totally restricted and simply tried to relax as much as possible to minimise further cramping, or at least the pain.

I had no idea how long I had been here, wherever here was. Suddenly the foul stench of a blood sucking parasite met my senses and a growl pierced the silence. The blood sucker cackled in the darkness. "is the dog mad?" it's voice rang out like fingernails on a chalkboard and I struggled in my prison, unseen in the darkness. The manic laughter rang out again and I felt a mother of a headache coming on. Footsteps sounded in front of my face and I instinctively and feebly tried to lash out at my invisible enemy.

"You're going to know the meaning of pain, Dog." Foul breath invaded my nostrils as the leech hissed the words into my face. I tried to phase to call my pack, but my bonds prevented it. I knew from that moment that I was royally fucked and completely on my own.

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Hope you enjoyed. Comments appreciated and if anyone wants me to put anything in the story suggestions will be considered.

-Nox


	4. Chapter 4

"Thanks Sam, I'll be around early tomorrow morning." I wished him goodnight and hung the receiver back in its cradle, a soft sigh escaping through my lips. I was trying to keep my exterior calm and collected, but the war of worry was taking its toll on my emotional state and wether or not I was fooling anyone with my 'awesome' acting skill was their opinion, plus no one had said anything just yet.

I said a quick goodnight to Charlie and went upstairs to my room, closing the door quietly behind me. Using the door as a prop I lent back against it closing my eyes with a heavy sigh, I didn't quite notice the toll that the stress of the current events had upon me until that moment, something in my brain finally snapped and I sunk into the floor pulling my knees up to my chest, my head falling down to rest on them. The hot sting of tears, which I was all too familiar with, met my senses as I began to cry. I cried for Jacob, I cried for the endless outcomes to this situation, most of which were bad. I felt the ugly black hole in my chest begin to come apart at the seams as I realised how badly I had treated Jacob, and exactly how much of this situation was my fault. I clutched at my chest gasping for air between sobs, a failure of an attempt to hold myself together.

I barely felt the cool marble arms slide around me and pull me into a frozen chest. I instinctively clung to the chest that was both familiar and not. I had no idea how long it took for me to stop crying, I had lost track of time and I figured I had slipped into the "zombie state" that Charlie not-so-fondly called the catatonic condition I slipped into when Edward had left.

Edward…

I looked up and saw his beautiful topaz eyes and his perfect features, all there in their flawless glory. He smiled at me and his cool fingers brushed my flushed cheek. "Bella…" The smile faded as his eyes took in my obviously distraught face, "Bella, what's wrong?" his question lingered as I knew he wouldn't like the answer.

"Edward, it's Jacob." I saw all the questions coming before they were spoken 'Did he hurt you? What did he do? Do you love him?'

"Bella, did he…Did he hurt you?" Edward asked, predictable.

I shook my head no, and moved away from him sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"No, I…I hurt him." I could feel the familiar sting of tears threatening to break through the surface and fought to keep them back, "Edward, Jacob…He's…In trouble and it's all my fault." I felt a few tears slip past my closed lids as I sighed into the end of the statement, my head falling forward to hide my face behind the falling curtain of hair.

Edward's cool fingers slipped through my draped hair and cupped my chin tilting it up to look at my face, I couldn't meet his gaze and kept my eyes glued shamefully to the floor. "Bella…He can take care of himself, and the rest of the dogs will make sure that he gets out of whatever mess he's in. Just, don't get involved, I can't lose you again."

His words sparked something in me, maybe it was just my fragile state of mind or something I'd repressed for far too long, probably a combination of both, but I snapped. I felt my fists clench and my eyes involuntarily harden at his words and I jerked back from his touch almost violently like his skin was a poison that would kill me on contact. "You? Can't Lose Me?" It was a completely rhetorical question obviously but Edward opened his mouth to answer me. I stopped him with my own words, they came fast and easy, which surprised me. "You left _me_, you just fucking up and left, without any second thought, without any consideration about how I would feel." I paused to try and collect my thoughts, but I still had things to say, I chanced a glance at him, he looked confused. The bastard was confused?! How could he be confused. I made a frustrated groaning noise and fought the urge to slap the confusion off his fucking perfect face, but I would only hurt myself so I just kept talking at him. "Now I save your stupid ass from yourself and come back and expect it all to be peachy? What the hell kind of world do you live on Edward? and you seriously think that I'm just going to sit back and watch while my best friend" _or maybe more_…Where did that come from? I shook away the thought inwardly, "is in serious shit, like some passive, submissive forties housewife!" I was seriously pissed off and I knew that Charlie could hear me, but I didn't care, hell I was sure he'd be pleased with me. I took a deep breath and calmed myself anyway, I continued again, lowering my voice "I may have been partial to your every whim before Edward, but that isn't me anymore. I…I just don't think I can…I don't think we can work anymore. You hurt me too badly and that isn't an emotion that can be removed with the flick of a switch." There was a very pregnant pause where I just watched Edward's reactions and tried to read his expression. I finally spoke up, I had obviously shocked him out of speech, or hurt his feelings, or something, I didn't really care at that point, I was past angry.

"Edward, I think we should not be…together…anymore." My head fell to the ground at that point, as I realised the magnitude of the entire, one sided conversation that I had just had with pretty much myself. "I'm sorry," I sighed it out, barely a whisper. "I really am, it's just, I don't feel the same about you, I thought that I would, but, I just don't, you hurt me, really badly, and even though I said it was always you, I can't chose the man who killed me emotionally, over the one who put me back together." I was done talking and I felt exhausted and I lent against a nearby wall.

Edward just stood there, taking in my words. It felt like eternity until he finally looked up at me, he just nodded mumbled the words 'of course, my love' and I could literally see his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. I closed my eyes and waited for the hole in my chest to rip open, I was surprised when it didn't, I felt whole for the first time since Sam had found me lying in the forest that night.

"Edward, I would still love it if you stayed, in Forks. Just because I don't view you in the same light as before, doesn't mean that we can't work at this…as a friendship."

Edward nodded, never quite looking me in the eyes and whispered, "I will never be far, unless you order me away." with that he pressed his cold lips to mine swiftly and briefly, I was surprised with my lack of reaction to his gesture. He whispered goodbye and he was gone as swiftly as he came and starred at the window for a moment before sighing and collapsing onto my bed.

I was exhausted but I was clearly not tired enough to wake up every hour like clockwork after a good or bad dream, all of which contained Jacob Black. My best friend, my sun. The man who fixed me, and now it's my turn to fix him.

The next morning I woke feeling just as exhausted as I had when I went to bed, I rolled out of bed, managing it in a way that I felt was graceful, well, for me anyway. I showered, changed into a pair of light sweats and one an old comfortable shirt I found in the bottom of one of my draws. I grabbed a warm jacket and headed downstairs.

It was early, but Charlie had already left for work which didn't surprise me, he never seemed to be home much lately, with neither of us being highly social creatures, this routine was well suited for our household. I made some breakfast and inhaled it down, not bothering with taste at this time of the morning. I was out the door in twenty minutes and my truck roared into life and made loud conspicuous noise as I shifted into gear and headed out to La Push.

The drive was slow and I hated having all this time to think. I tried to concentrate on the road "be in the moment" and all that, but I was feeling terrible for the way I reacted towards Edward last night and quickly decided that I would call him later, if I could…

I shook my head trying to clear my mind of any distracting thoughts, I needed a clear head to help Jake. My mind started to wander again to the possible results of my plan of action, so to speak. I hoped to God (and I'm not really the religious type) that this would work and everyone would be okay…

My wandering mind accompanied me the rest of the way to the reservation and it managed to pass the time fairly effectively. I pulled my truck up beside the forest next to Jake's house and took a few long deep breaths before I heaved the rusty door of my truck open and stepped outside into the bitter cold of the winter morning.

I walked up to the door and tried the door handle, it was open, just like Sam had said it would be and I stepped inside the small red brick house to be greeted by a very tired looking Sam. I gave him a feeble smile and nodded my head in greeting, which he returned on a smaller scale, if that was possible.

"Bella." He said gesturing to a nearby chair. "I want to just run it through with out one more time before we put this to action, we can't afford to lose anyone else."

I nodded and make a small noise of agreement and sat in the chair that he had ushered me to.

Right the plan.

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**Sorry that took sooooo long to update, I was really busy with work and Christmas and just so many other things, I have a new laptop so I should be working on the more now that I have a computer that works =)**

**I have also discovered that you can reply to reviews (can you tell I'm new to this? =P) so please review it is really amazing encouragement. Even just to let me know that you want more of the story.**

**I really wasn't sure about the "Bella Losing her cool at Edward" but I think it's okay… if you press the little green button down at the bottom there I'll know if i'm delusional or not =)**

**Thanks**

**_NOX**


	5. Chapter 5

I sat in the middle of a foreign clearing feeling more alone that I had ever felt before in my life. I had a large graze down my arm from falling over on my way here and I would have been lying if I said that I wasn't scared. I was terrified, knowing that Jacob wasn't there to protect me.

I was sitting on a large fallen log and my eyes darted around the clearing trying to get some idea of my surroundings. After what seemed like hours of sitting I was freezing cold and my ass was beginning to go numb. I got up and started to walk around a little in attempt to get some feeling back in the lower half of my body.

I was about to make my second lap around the clearing when I felt a hidden gaze on my back. I Shivered inwardly and continued my walking as if nothing was bothering me at all. I made my way back to the log and inspected the graze on my arm. Brushing some of the dirt off the underside of my arm I sighed looking up to find a red eyed vampire starring at me.

My mind went blank and I felt terror consume me. I didn't recognise this vampire and, according to the Cullen's descriptions, he looked like a new born. Wild eyed and a crazed expression plastered across his face. The vampire and that sickening grin came closer to me, slowly at first then in a blink he was by my side, his filthy blood stained hands reaching for my throat.

I screamed and scrambled back in a futile attempt to put a reasonable distance between me at the new born. I ended up on my back on the other side of the log and I rolled to try and get onto my feet, but ended up crawling away. I felt a cold hand on the leg of my pants and heard a sickening rip and a flash of pain met my senses as the skin on my calf was torn open. I screamed again and yanked my leg away from the new born. I managed to get onto my feet and limped away from the crazed vampire.

The pain in my leg was overwhelming and I felt faint from the blood loss. I Heard a soft thud nearby and a loud snarl following. I felt two arms snake around my waist and I struggled at first, I realised that these arms were not frozen, they were warm and inviting, leaning back into the embrace I heard a low voice calling my name, I nodded in response vaguely but the smell of my own blood reached my nose, that sickening metallic but sweet scent overwhelmed my senses and I felt all the blood rush from my head and I fell into darkness.

_**Jacob POV**_

I could hear lots of commotion in the darkness and lots of yelling that overwhelmed my throbbing headache. My mouth was so dry and the cramping in my arms and legs was unbearable, and to make things worse they hadn't let me up to go to the toilet, and they'd left me lying in my own body fluids. I wished that they would just kill me already, I was so confused as to why they hadn't already done so, I mean, I wasn't any use to them, was I? Maybe they were just waiting for me to starve to death, which probably wouldn't take long, I was surprised I'd lasted this long, my stomach had started growling about five minutes into this hell.

I heard someone muttering something about "stupid mutt's" so I assumed that The Pack had something to do with all the havoc that lay just beyond my bonds. I inwardly grinned to myself and tried to stretch my legs as a particularly bad cramp came on. The horrid, sickly sweet scent of bloodsucker filled my nostrils and I felt my empty stomach heave. When I managed to calm my insides a snarl ripped through my chest as the filthily inhuman monster blew air into my face, causing my gut to dry-retch again.

"Comfortable there dog?" The vampire, I assumed it was Victoria, hissed in my ear

"What do you think?" I growled back, my voice sounded foreign to me and I winced as my dry throat companied at the speech.

"I think you're a little too comfortable for my liking." The voice groaned in my ear.

Her words confused me, how could I possibly be more uncomfortable…?

I felt a cold hand on my back and I struggled under the frozen fingers trying to get away from the frigid touch, I felt a fingernail trail along the contours of my back, digging into the skin. I winced, I guess it was possible to get more uncomfortable. I let out a harsh snarl that ripped at my dry throat as I felt the fingernail sink into my back and five nails tore strips of flesh from my side.

I wasn't going to give this bitch the satisfaction of hearing me scream, I bit into my cheek as I felt chunk after chunk of skin being ripped from my body. I tasted blood as my teeth accidentally pierced the inside of my mouth from biting down too hard. I felt hot blood mix with my cold urine that formed a disgusting puddle of fluids, which could only attract all kinds of disgusting things. I pushed that thought to the back of my head quickly and spat out the saliva-blood mixture that formed in my mouth and growled at the filthy vampire torturing my already abused body, "I swear, when I get out of here…" My sentence was cut short as a loud snarl ripped through the air, I recognised it immediately as Sam. _Thank Christ_ I thought letting out an inward sigh of relief as the wintery nails detached from my body with a sickening squelch of flesh and blood.

I heard Sam give out a low growl, challenging the vampire. Victoria let out a bark of laughter and said something in a foreign tongue, it probably wasn't friendly. I tried to listen to what was going on around me but I could only hear the blood pounding in my ears. The vampire and the wolf fought for what seemed like eternity but it couldn't have been more that five minutes because i was holding my breath the whole time, trying to ignore the agony that the various wounds were causing me, even though I knew that they were healing already.

I felt a warm hand brushed against my ruined skin and I drew in a sharp breath, relieved that this nightmare would finally be over. The heated fingers worked their way around my bonds and I was finally able to stretch out. I relaxed onto the floor stretching out ignoring the filthy blood and urine mixture on the floor and the pain of my would. I was stiff but it felt so good to be able to move. I finally felt the hand at the back of my head an light hit my eyes and I winced, my vision was limited as my eyes tried to adjust to the light and I had to squint, even then I could only make out vague shapes.

I felt a hand grasp my forearm and heave me to my feet. Sam's voice rang like an echo in my ear "Jacob, lets get you home and clean." and I nodded with a slight moan in agreement. If I didn't get clean soon I could get infected wounds, and even for a werewolf that is not a good thing.

I set my mind to autopilot as Sam walked me home, I stumbled many times as my vision was still non-ideal, but it didn't seem to take too long to get home. It was havoc and my emotionally drained mind barely took anything in. I remember Emily checking my wounds, my dad crying at the sight of me and the liquid heat that stung my wounds in the shower. I washed and used the facilities, relying on muscle memory to go through the motions. When I came out of the bathroom Emily dressed the wounds that were still healing and I collapsed on a soft surface somewhere, exhausted, drained mentally and physically.

_**Bella POV **_

My eyes opened and I groaned at how bright it was, the sort of brightness that can only be achieved by white linoleum reflecting fluorescent light, the sort of brightness that is only achieved in hospitals. I pushed myself up out of the bed and winced at a dull pain in my leg, I lifted up the cover to see what the damage was and shuddered at the sight of my leg heavily bandaged and slightly swollen.

"Bella?" Said a soothing voice at the door. I glanced up to see Carlisle standing in the doorway in his white coat and holding a clipboard, he smiled and made his way over to me gracefully, "Welcome back, how do you feel?"

"I feel…Okay, despite the leg. I feel good." I replied and I was glad that wasn't a complete lie. Carlisle smiled at me again and nodded, I was glad for his formality and for the fact that he didn't mention Edward, "Good we should be releasing you shortly, I'll just get you something for the pain and I'll get your paperwork. Your father is outside waiting for you, I'll let him in to see you." I smiled and nodded slowly at his response and watched him walk out the door.

I heard some quiet talking from out in the hall and soon after Charlie came into the room, covering the distance between us in three long, uneven strides. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. I mock complained and hugged him back. We smiled at each other, and stood like that for a few minutes. He sighed and sat down shaking his head at me slightly, "what did I do to deserve such a clumsy daughter?" it was a rhetorical question obviously and I just shrugged in response.

I paused and remembered what really put me in here, and it wasn't my clumsiness…Vampires. Trying to get Jake back…

"Dad… Did they find…?" I looked up at him unable to say his name just incase the worst actually did happen. Charlie just smiled at me and nodded. "I hear he was pretty banged up from getting lost in the woods for so long but he'll be fine."

My heart sung, Jake, my sun, my best friend, was back, and he was alive. I couldn't hold back the smile as it crept over my face and I wanted to jump and shout out with joy. But I had to settle for an inward celebration as Carlisle came back into the room shortly after holding a small box of prescription pain medication and my paperwork in one hand and a pair of crutches in the other.

"Okay Bella, you need to take these twice a day," He said handing me the box, "and I wan't you to use these for at least two weeks" he handed me the crutches, "but otherwise you're free to go, I'm sure you're dying to get up to La Push" Carlisle winked at me. Guilty, I _was_ dying to get to La Push, I needed to see Jake with my own eyes. I needed to know he was really back. Charlie helped me stand and left me to dress back into a shirt and a skirt he brought from home for me, knowing that jeans would be out of the question for at least a few weeks. I called him back and he adjusted the crutches to match my height and I followed him out of the hospital to the car, I was surprisingly more coordinated with a pair of crutches than I expected and managed the walk without falling into a tangled mess with the crutches.

Charlie helped me into the car and we drove home first so that I could wash quickly. Showering was awkward because I had to stick my leg out of the shower so that the bandages wouldn't get wet and ruined, I would have to remember to go to the chemist to get some waterproof bandages. I brushed my teeth and towel dried my hair, and quickly changed into some clean clothes and pulled on some three quarter length stockings so that I would be able to stay warmer without having anything constricting my stitches. I packed an overnight bag because I had every intention of staying at Jacob's house tonight, wether he wanted me there or not.

The drive up there was mainly in silence, with Charlie asking the occasional question about the latest events. Most of which I didn't know the answers to but tried my best to answer just the same. The drive seemed to take such a long time and by the time we reached the Black's house I had completely forgotten about my injury and jumped out of the car instantly. Hot pain shot through my leg and I fell back against the car, _whoops. _Charlie just shook his head at me handing me my crutches and my bag and walked up to the house, locking the car behind him. I followed behind eager to see Jacob.

Charlie knocked at the door and it Billy swung it open almost instantly ushering us in. Billy was saying something to us but I wasn't really paying much attention. I smiled slightly and nodded in greeting and moved past the two, managing to accidentally get on of my crutches stuck in the doorframe in my haste. I untangled it ignoring sniggers from Billy and moved through the house to Jacob's room, I knocked on the door softly and without waiting for reply I swung the door open with one hand.

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**Thankyou for reading. **

**I'll try and update as soon as I can, but I'm not sure how long it's going to take this time, I've got heaps of stuff to do and I'm working quite a lot. It should be sometime next week but I'm not sure.**

**Please review, it's really appreciated. **

**I have a great idea for the next chapter that I think you will all like, or hope anyway.**

**Happy New Year to you all.**

**_Nox**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry I took so long to update, got distracted and life happened. I'll try and update again sooner than this, but no promises, I generally let people know when they should expect an update in replies to reviews so that's a good way to not find out around when you should expect an update, though it's not always acurate.**

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_**Jacob POV**_

I knew that the recent events, as my dad called them, would leave scars, and not just physical ones, but I still wasn't prepared for the nightmares or the things moving in the shadows that weren't really there, jumping at any sudden movements. I couldn't stand to be in the dark, not being able to see anything coming. I hated how scared I was.

I heard Bella and her father in the hallway and my heart skipped a beat. Bella… I was worried sick about her. Sam had told me that Quil had taken her to the hospital when she hadn't been able to get away fast enough and that he didn't know the extent of the damage. None of the others had been to see me so I had no idea how badly hurt she was.

I heard uneven footsteps coming down the hall, the footfall was foreign to me, it didn't sould like Bella and my heart started to race at the insane possibility that the thing coming down the hall wasn't really my Bella after all.

The door started to swing open and I opened my eyes, masking the terror I felt. Bella was in the doorway, two crutches carefully supporting her weight, making her footsteps sound different. My breath hitched as I took her in and at that moment I felt all of my fear, pain and sorrow slip away into the back of my mind. I felt a smile spread across my lips as Bella took in my damaged from, a look of horror, relief and something I couldn't place was spread across her perfect features. I laughed as she discarded her crutches to the side and with a combination of limping and hopping she had her face pressed into my chest and I felt her cool tears falling onto my chest and soaking into my bandages. I felt my arms slip around her small frame and my large hands caressed the contours of her back. Shutting my eyes closed I felt my body relax slightly, knowing that Bella was safe. That moment was so peaceful and perfect and wished that it would last forever, just Bella and me, nothing else. Bella was the first to break the silence

"Jake…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It was all my fault." She said, lifting her head and searching my face. I shushed her and placed a hand on the side of her face, cupping her cheek at the same time skimming my thumb across her cheeks to sweep the cool wetness off her face. Bella pressed her face into my hand and I felt the soft pads of her lips brush across the base of my palm. "Bella, you have nothing to be sorry about, this was my fault." My voice was still husky and sore from 'the incident', "Bella, if I hand't been so stupid or reckless, none of this ever would have happened." I tried to reassure her, but she just looked at me her eyes glassy with silent apology. I sighed and shook my head slightly, "Can we not talk? Just sit for a while?" She nodded and leant her forehead into my shoulder and I felt her eyelashes brush against the curve of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. "I thought I lost you Jake."

_**Bella POV**_

I had my head pressed into the arch of his neck, and I wasn't sure how long we had been sitting like that. Not long enough. Jake looked so broken, not just physically either. I could see how much he was hurting inside and out. I would have done anything in that moment to take it all away. I looked up at him and I could feel hot tears falling over my cheeks, "Jake..." I whispered "What can I do? You look so...Broken, what can I do to fix this?" He looked back at me searching my face and gave me a tiny smile that looked forced, "Stay with me?" he asked me with such heartbreak that even a stranger couldn't say no to him. I nodded in response giving him a small smile "Anything" I whispered laying my head gently on his bruised chest.

We both lay back onto his tiny bed, I had to rest my upper toso over his shoulder which still a little raw but didn't look as painful as the rest of his well developed body. Resting my head back in the arch of his neck I inhaled his woodsy sent, letting the air escape in a sigh. I felt Jacob move his head to the side and rest his chin on the top of my head, "Bella?" He asked "How did the others find me?" a small smile tugged at the curve of my mouth as I remembered that it was my idea that saved Jacob's life. "We had a good plan." I replied

"Oh yeah? What might that have been?"Jacob said playfully, toying with a loose strand of my hair.

"Well," My tone became more serious knowing that he wouldn't be thrilled with the answer. "I was bait to lure out the vampires and the rest of the pack were close enough so that when they arrived they would drive them off. Then Sam followed them back to their hideout to rescue you." Jacob looked slightly shocked at the thought of me being used as bait but then his expression changed to something that I didn't recognise, "What?" I asked.

"You came up with that all by yourself?" I nodded in response and he smiled. "I Bet your blood-sucker wasn't too happy with that"

"No he wasn't, really wasn't..." I paused trying to think of the best way to say this.

"Bella, what is it?" Jacob's hand reached up and brushed my cheek with his heated fingers, he winced, though I'm wouldn't have been surprised if I'd missed it.

"I broke up with Edward." I averted my eyes, even though I knew that Jacob would probably be ecstatic about this new turn of events. After a few moments of silence I chanced a glance at his face and was surprised at the lack of a huge grin spread over his features, instead he just looked confused, which in a way was understandable.

He sat there staring at me for what seemed like hours, but it can't have been more than a few moments. "But I thought?" he paused trying to get his thoughts in order "You said?" He closed his eyes, his features smoothing out, relaxing slightly "I thought you said that he was it for you? That he was always it." His hand dropped back to his side.

"Maybe he was" I emphasised the past tense that the 'was' suggested. "Maybe I was just blinded by the hurt that he caused when he left. I had it stuck in my mind that the only thing that could fill the hole that he caused when he left was him back with me." My eyes fell to the floor and I let out a heavy sigh. "But now he's back, and it's just not the same." My words lingered in silence like hot air on a humid day. I kept trying to read Jacob's expression but I was finding it difficult, which was unusual.

Jacob broke the silence first, "What does this mean? For us." I cringed inwardly as I was trying to avoid this question, mainly because I didn't know the answer to it. I placed a hand on the side of his still bruised face and looked into his ebony orbs "Jacob..." I whispered, not sure of what I was going to say. "I want this, between us, but I don't know if I'm ready for it. I love you but I don't know what type of love this is." I said, placing a hand over my heart to emphasise the point. Jacob looked hurt and slightly apprehensive and I gave him a small smile to try and reassure him, it didn't seem to work much. "Just give me time, I'm sure you'll figure a way to win me over." I winked at him and the joke seemed to lighten his mood slightly. "For now let's get you better." I gave him what I hoped was a heartening smile and I saw the corners of his mouth lift slightly in a small simper.

I asked Billy and Charlie if it was okay if I stayed to help take care of Jacob,which both agreed that my cooking skills were needed more here than at home. I think Billy was relieved that he had another person to lend a hand with the chores now that Jacob was bed ridden, even if she was on crutches.

Jacob was in his room, I made him go straight back after dinner, he protested until I won him over with promises of ice cream bed. I was only using one crutch to get around the house and I balanced two bowls of dessert in the other arm and I made it all the way into Jacob's room (shocking I know). Jacob was asleep, but he didn't look peaceful like all of the other times that I had seen him sleep. He had a haunted look plastered over his beautiful face, I felt my heart break, knowing that this torture was my fault, even though Jacob insisted that I shouldn't blame myself for it. Placing the bowls on his side table and discarding my crutch I limped over to his bed. I sat on the edge of the mattres, trying not to wake him I placed my cool fingers on his forehead and gently stroked his masculine features, trying to soothe him and at the same try to commit his countenance to memory. His creased expression smoothed as I trailed the cool pads of my fingertips across his forehead, letting them run down over his closed eyes, rising with his high cheek bones then coming to rest on the soft pads of his lips for a moment before reversing and returning back to his forehead. Jacob let out a soft sigh as I reached his lips for the second time and his eyes slowly opened. I let my hands drop onto the pillow on either side of his face and smiled down at him, his forehead creased slightly but a slight smile hinted on his lips. "Don't stop." His voice came out as a husky whisper which was very sexy and difficult to resist. I placed my fingertips against his high cheek bones and ran them down along his jawline, most of the bruises were gone but there were still some areas which looked tender still and I avoided those. This time I trailed them down his jaw and over the smooth skin of his neck and shoulders then back up to his face. After a few moments of my light caresses I felt the rhythm of his breathing slow and I figured he was asleep, in a brief moment of courage or insanity, I'm not sure which, I lent down and pressed my lips to his in a slight kiss, it was never ment to be more than a swift, comforting peck but when I caught his musky scent added to the sensation of his perfect russet skin, something in my brain snapped and the kiss lingered a little too long to be purely friendly.

Jacob's eyes flew open and suddenly we were staring into each others eyes, which was a bit of a mood killer to be honest. I gasped and pulled back slightly "I.." I stammered, "Thought you were asleep." I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks and I cringed slightly, though I don't know why, I think I liked kissing Jacob Black. Jake let out a laugh though it was cut short with a slight wince "Damn broken ribs...I..." Before he could get into a full sentence I shut him up by pressing my lips firmly to his, it took a moment for Jake to realise that I was kissing him and respond to my caress. It was a sweet, closed mouthed kiss and he set my lips on fire with his scorching mouth, his hands sliped to my waist to draw me into him, holding my weight off his bruised body. He groaned slightly and I pulled away, kissing him once more lightly. I slipped under the covers with him careful not to put too much pressure on his broken body, then nuzzling my face into his neck I whispered lightly in his ear which made him shiver slightly. "Damn teenage hormones."

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**Reviews are appreciated =)**

**_Nox**


	7. Authors Note

For those who have been waiting for the next chapter, sorry! But I have uploaded a teaser for you it's Called "I wish I was your lover" and it's an excerpt from later on in this story =) I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to get the next chapter up in the next few weeks.

_Nox


	8. Chapter 7

**I'm really sorry for everyone that was waiting for ages for this chapter i've just started university so it has been really busy and trying to find time for writing has been difficult. Apologies again. Hopefully its okay, I've sort of tried a slightly different set out for this so I hope its okay. Please enjoy and comments are appreciated.**

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**Jacob POV **

I opened my eyes, but there was nothing but darkness, I gave out small whimper, knowing what would come next. The smell. The sickly sweet stench of rotting fruit and candy that has been left in the sun for too long. I couldn't move no matter how hard I struggled against my invisible fetters and I could feel the all too familiar pangs of my muscles cramping. The laughter was next, the high pitched cackle that pierced my sensitive ears, making them itch and prickle uncomfortable. The laughter came closer and I began to make a futile effort to struggle against my bonds in attempt to move away from the vampire. I knew what was coming though I wasn't prepared for it. My flesh being torn from muscle, muscle being torn from bone. I let out cry after cry and scream after agonising scream. A new sensation, a soft, warm hand shaking my grotesquely mutilated body.

My eyes were suddenly flooded with light, the agonising pain was subsiding and a the smell of rain on a hot summer day mixed with fresh jasmine and something else that I couldn't quite place, the smell of Bella, replaced the sickening odour of bloodsucking vampire. My mind raced, I was so confused, so unsure, then my vision cleared and I remembered that I was no longer in that hell. I was safe, at home, no threats.

This was the third night that Bella had woken me from my nightmares, they plagued my mind, not just when I was asleep either, that would have been fair, every time I closed my eyes my senses are consumed with egregious tableaus. My body was nearly fully healed, apart from a few remaining scratches that were left over from some of the original, deeper cuts. My mind on the other hand...That was a different story.

Bella's hand moved to the side of my face as I tilted it to the side slightly, I was embarrassed, I hated showing this kind of weakness around Bella, although she didn't seem to mind, it did hurt my pride, and I need my pride. I felt Bella's other hand running up and down my arm slowly and her forehead lowered to rest on my chest and she shook it back and forth slowly. "Jake, this is..." she sighed softly against my torso and wrapped her arms around me, she raised her head to look at me, her chocolate orbs looking dead into mine. "Jake, are you okay? Like, are you just..." She sighed again, closing her eyes again, looking for the right words, "Jake, I'm worried about you. I need to know that you're going to be okay."

"Bella." I tried to give her my most convincing smile, I don't think I fooled her, just as she could never fool me. "I'm fine." I ruffled her hair playfully and sat up in bed, pulling her into my chest, placing a light kiss on the top of her head. "I'm going to take a shower. Don't worry about me Bells. I'm fine..." I was trying to be reassuring, but I certainly knew I wasn't fine.

I moved pulled my towel off the back of my door and moved out into the hallway but I could feel Bella's worried gaze following me the whole way. I set the water as hot as it would go, dumping my towel and clothed on the floor. Stepping under the water I shuddered slightly, feeling the tension leave my body slightly, I placed my hands against the wall and leaned into the cool tile, using it as a prop. I wasn't sure was so unsure about myself, a feeling that was so unfamiliar that it scared me. I closed my eyes, but the uncertainty of the dark scared me more than the wild roller-coaster ride that my emotions were taking me on, so I swiftly opened them again, frustrated. I was stronger than this, fucking hell, I was meant to be able to handle this sort of shit. I could feel the frustration and rage build up inside me and explode, spreading like the black plague through my body. I slammed my fist into the wall, causing a few tiles to crack and crumble to the ground in a thin powder to be washed away with the hot stream of water a moment later.

I stood staring straight ahead, my breathing becoming heavy and laboured in attempt to control my anger and not destroy my dad's bathroom anymore that I already had. A few moments later there was a knock on the door, I didn't reply thinking that they would just leave, but I heard the door creak open slowly. "Jacob?" It was Bella and I was taken aback slightly.

"Yeah Bells?" I replied, I sounded on the brink of tears, I knew that I was, but I didn't want to let Bella know that.

"Jacob I...I'm coming in." I nearly spun around but managed to keep my dignity, so to speak. I expected Bella to just come in to the room and sit on the bench top or something, but I had to look over my shoulder when I heard her moving towards the shower. She smiled at me, a small smile, barely noticeable, then she pulled the glass shower screen door open and stepped fully clothed into the shower with me. I felt a frown crease my brow "Bella what?" I paused as the water started to soak into her clothes and hair. "Bella what are you doing?" I asked, but she just looked at me and shook her head, stretching her arms out and encircling my waist pressing her cheek into my shoulder.

"Jake." She whispered her lips brushing against my back lightly, sending pleasant shivers down my spine. "Jake...I know you feel like you need to hide how much you're hurting, and I know that your massive ego says that you do, but I say otherwise." God she was so right, I let her continue, feeling slightly ashamed that my macho masquerade had been found out. "It kills me to see you like this Jake, I want to help you, we all do, but you have to let us." With that she pressed a small kiss into my back and lifted her hands from my middle to my shoulders and gently applied pressure, turning me around to face her, she was soaked to the bone, mascara running down her face, and she had the most beautiful blush colouring her cheeks as she pressed her face into my chest. "It kills me to see you like this Jake," Her voice dropped to a whisper and she moved her head so that she could look my in the eye, I lifted my fingers to her cheek and wiped away the dark lines of makeup that had run down her face from the water.

"Bella, I'm sure I'll be fine, I just need time." I gave her my most reassuring smile and hugged her close to my chest, pressing a kiss into the top of her head. She clung onto me tightly for a moment before loosening her grip and moving her hands to either side of my face and looking deep into my eyes. "Do you promise?" She said to me, and if looks could make a person melt, I'd be washing down the drain in the floor with the tile dust. I put my hands on top of hers and gently stoked the skin there.

"Bells...With all my heart..." I leant my forehead on hers gently closing my eyes. "For you, I promise." I pressed a kiss on her nose and let out a soft sigh just as there was a loud knock on the door and Billy's voice rang through the small bathroom. "Jacob Black and Isabella Swan! You both best get your asses out of that bathroom now or there will be some serious consequences!" Both Bella and I cursed and jumped apart, slipping out of the shower, Bella blushed and limped out of the bathroom soaking wet to face Billy while I turned the water off and wrapped a towel around my waist before joining Bella.

Billy was starring at Bella, dripping from head to toe, water pooling at her feet. His eyes then flickered to me and I gave him the most convincing 'wasn't doing anything' look, even though I'm sure he knew we weren't up to anything, Bella still being fully clothed. He sighed slightly, muttered something about "stupid kids and their stupid hormones" and wheeled himself off down the hallway shaking his head.

I gave a light laugh wich came out more like a snort, my dad acted tough, but as long as it wasn't something he didn't know about he was alright with most things. I turned to Bella who was looking at me wide eyed, I just grinned at her and ushered her into my room, helping to keep her weight off her bad leg.

**Bella POV**

I sat down on Jacob's bed and look up at him, I was going to say something serious but I ended up having to bite my lip to stop me from letting my mouth drop to the ground in reaction to his amazing body. I knew he was sexy but still wet from the shower and the hot water steaming off him slightly was just...Wow.

"What?" He asked when he noticed my starring.

"Err...Nothing." I said, looking down at the floor even though I knew it wouldn't help hide the blush. I could feel Jake smiling at me and I just shook my head lightly at my hormonal reaction to him. "I'll just..step outside for a minute, so that you can change." I stood slowly, trying to keep the weight off my leg, wincing slightly. I started towards the door but I felt Jacob's hand on my shoulder holding me back, I looked up at him, having to crane my neck slightly to look him in the eye.

"You stay and change." He said, gesturing to my soaking clothes. "I'll go." He smiled at me, gently sitting me down on the bed He rummaged around his tiny room for a few moments, pulling out some clean clothes from God knows where and tossed me my bag from the other side of the room, then disappeared out to door. I waited until I couldn't hear is footsteps in the hallway before I started to undress, I changed my bra and shirt before I tried to get out of my jeans. I got my good leg out fairly easily but because they had shrunk with the water a little I was having a lot of trouble getting the wet denim past the bandages on my bad leg. I managed to roll it halfway down the cut on my leg before it got stuck. I bit my lip to try and stifle the cry of pain that I could feel threatening to roll out of my chest. After a moment I managed to get myself under control and I tightened my hands around the leg of my jeans and tugged as hard as I could, I let out a muffled shout of pain and dropped my soaking clothes on the floor, doubling over I rested my head on my knees and closed my eyes.

After a few moments there was a knock on the door and I looked up as Jacob entered the room. I saw something on his face change as his eyes locked onto my leg and I frowned slightly, "What?" I asked, barely managed to get the question out before he was at my side. "Can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?" He must have read the confused expression on my face. "Your leg? It's bleeding." I glanced down at my leg and the last thing I remember is that foul, sour, metallic scent hitting me like a slap in the face and the feeling of something warm and soft catching me as I threatened to fall on the floor in a heap.

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**Again, apologies for such a long interval between chapters hopefully the teaser excerpt kept you guys going.**

**Comments are appreciated.**

**_NOX**


	9. Authors Note 2

Hi everyone, as you would have noticed for those that follow this story, I haven't uploaded any new chapters lately. I sadly can no longer continue this story, however, I do want it to be finished. I would love for someone out there to continue it. Send me an email at and with a quick paragraph explaining how you would like to continue the story. If I like what you write I'll send you my account details and you can continue the story from there.

Thanks everyone, hope someone out there wants to finish what I started.

_Nox


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